LETTER FROM MAIN CHICK TO SIDE CHICK!

1.this is the most important of them all.the main chick gets everything first, which therefore means valentines day for you is February 15th.! The only thing you keep is your birthday .

2.Dont think you are entitled to the D, if you call his at midnight and no answer, face it honey.Dont keep on disturbing.

3.You dont get to have intimate presents, or presents that say a million words like a rose bouquet at work or silver bracelet under your pillow,the most intimate you get is he takes you for shopping, you pick your stuff yourself no input from him or well he gives you the cash..go get your shit yourself!

4.honey no pictures! No! No! ... no matter the mood there will never be a picture.well  sometimes he may take the picture but its not for real, he deletes it after you leave .

5.if you accidentally receive a loving, heartwarming text message from him, its not for real ..we might be fighting and he's looking for someone to talk to.

6.Dont worry he's never gonna follow you to your personal events like your parents wedding anniversary, your sister's baby shower..name it!

7.Get your mind prepared for impromptu cancelation of plans you both make,am always gonna come first.

8.last and most importantly. ..no matter how much he hooks up with you and have a good time..he will never marry you.!

                                   Best regards!
                                   Main chick!

TYPES OF PEOPLE ON BBM

1.The religious updater
A.K.A the touch not my anointed .these people sticking with God all through ,keeping it real, keeping it one hundred. Monday to Sunday they in the zone.

2.The 'religious updater wanna-be but-cant-keep-up'
unlike the religious updaters these ones are not keeping it one hundred at all.

3.the ghost
this one never updates,change display or even chat. You even have to send a broadcast to see if they will receive it just to check if they are still alive.

4.the inspiring quoter
these people are always inspired, Monday to Sunday, night and day, broken plate, torn shorts, lost phone=their inspiration. Always updating inspiring quotes. They inspire themselves so much they depress you.

5.the inspiring quoter wanna-be but-cant-keep-up
they are like the inspiring quotes but big difference here is their quotes make no sense whatsoever neither do they connect, apply or inspire you. These are the people you want to slap.

6.the romantic
these are the ones who always use their partners as their display picture ,infact they never use their own pictures, you start to wonder if they are still the actual owners of the phone. If they are not using their partners they use pictures of sunsine,sunrise,sunflowers,white sanded beaches, rose petal paths, colorful food and ice-creams !!....

7.the sad one
this is the opposite of the romantic. These people are always sad, always heartbroken, always breaking up with their partners. Worse if they are girls. Always updating pictures of dark corners, crying characters, children on lonely road paths, tear drops, heart split in two and that type stuff.

8.the traveler
this are the people whose bbm locations change every week or even less.travel so much ...immigration be like 'sorry madam you've been here 62times already..'

9.the one who takes forever to reply
you send this person a message on Monday morning saying "hey is there still lecture today?" they reply you on Thursday evening saying "..yes.".........and by then its already too late. They must be slapped!

10.the one who replies too fast
these people must be freaking mind readers...they respond to your message while it still shows that you are typing it. they must also be slapped.

11.the x-rated R
this is that one person or more always watching X-rated videos and forgets to turn of the setting where what you are listening to is made public.

12.the ones with more than one girlfriend 
 

How to know them? update pictures of different girls without writing anything specific. Or even if they have to write something it will be on special occasions like their birthdays and end up using general words of affection like..."happy birthday dearie or sweets or babe or luv.." the real words are edited so as not to give it the real meaning it should have. When their actual girlfriends try to put up a quarrel they be like "but baby I said luv not love" or "baby I said Hun not honey"!

WEIRDNESS UN-CUT!.....must read

1.The one with pants sky high.
Wait ..! I didnt say sag but why the heck are your pants on your ribs..oh wait your lungs.why?!!!

 

2.Bra strap so high
Chicks who got their bra strap so high its starting to look like a necklace.from behind you can see the bra literally above what ever top they wearing.i mean I know you are seriously trying to push your boobs up and all that good stuff but why do have your boobs on your shoulders!

 

3.Fat people these days
Its not a bad thing to be plus size though.shout out to all them big people.but some people so fat, still keep on eating, all their conversations about food..ever had a conversation with a fat person? Ya'll shouldn't be on a diet because thats still too much food, you should be vomiting. Well, you  can still have breakfast too but only your plate should be empty at the beginning and full in the end. (Reverse-meal).live in a areas at the center of the earth, , because if you live at the edge it might tilt. (Good thing the earth is round!)

4.Eyebrows these days.

People be walking around these days eyebrows looking like heart attack.why so angular? Why shave your entire brows and tatoo on a geometric line

5.Eyelashes these days

I understand the concept of tryna look different but if you fix eyelashes so long looking like you about to fly,eyelashes so long they can hold a glass of wine, stayed so long on your eyelids the glue starts to turn white..my dear lady you need to take that shit off..but its ok because if you ever on a plane and it starts to malfunction stick your head out that window and let your eyelash fly that plane.

5 REASONS TO DATE A FAT GIRL

1.when you take her out she will always finish her food. You don't have to worry about your money getting wasted because she's going to eat her food, eat the plate, eat the table ... but skinny girls don't eat ,you take them out for 700$ they only eat 12cents worth. They scared adding weight so much that when they drink water you need to go to scientist to take the H2O molecules outta that water just to reduce the content.

2.She will, fight your battles,don't worry about anyone owing you or doing you harm. Because she gonna put that dude under her arm-skin-fat. That nigga will not only choke, he can disappear. if the cops come to look for you don't worry just take a crow bar, raise that stomach fat and hide in between that shit  it will cover you like a blanket.

3.skinny girls are too demanding ..they be like take me to your parents, when are we going to get married, lets get engaged, get me the Gucci purse,zannoti shoes and all that type stuff.....but fat chicks.? you aint got to worry about none of that, all you got to provide her with is food. Yes nigga that's all the engagement she wants.!

4.skinny girls want to go with you everywhere, you cant hang out with your boys to do stuff because all she want to do is dress up and go out with you, you need to lie and give excuses every time you don't want to take her out causing you to sin...but with them fat chicks you got to lie bro,you aint got to sin ..all you need to do tell her you going out with the boys, tell her where you kept the mc Donald's in the fridge and you can be on your way.

5.its is safe!!!!!..take your skinny girl out on a windy day you have to keep her chained to you because she might fly off ..take your fat girl out ..like French Montana 'you aint gotta worry bou none'. She aint flying no where. You can call her gravity because she'll keep you down and protect you from the wind.