I am not a relationship expert but what I do know is that couples bicker a lot, argue and disagree not out of anger but because they aren't willing to challenge each other.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
WHY YOU WORKING SO HARD THOUGH? ?
I am not a relationship expert but what I do know is that couples bicker a lot, argue and disagree not out of anger but because they aren't willing to challenge each other.
Friday, September 26, 2014
TYPES OF PEOPLE ON A FLIGHT
These ones are just obvious.they ask too many questions especially when you the one sitting beside them.like "excuse me how do I buckle the belt",majestically at my bag here because I would want to use my laptop", "how do you turn on the monitor", "how do you reduce the volume"?
And 90% of the time they have no idea where their seat is.
Well apparently these ones are already there even before anyone else hops in.
These ones even before any instructions, have had their luggages stowed away, seat up right , seat belt buckled, legs well aligned, upright, and reading a magazine or doing a crossword puzzle.
I dont know if this people drank a trailer load of water before boarding but they are even more annoying when they sit by the window and you're by the aisle.
These ones finish every meal served to them to the last.even eat the meal of the next passenger.trust me I've sat beside a dude who ate my meal while I was asleep and am not even kidding.
Sometimes I find these ones annoying as hell.they start chatting with you immediately you both have your seats.they chat till the end of the journey.they are worse when they were the ones you waited beside at the airport,and so they feel the need to carry on previous conversation.
They never saything.they dont watch any movies, they dont eat, they dont talk to you, they dont use the restroom and most of the times they always travel alone.
These ones come travel- prepared.like they read a travel manual before coming.
Throw pillows, neck supporting pillows, hand cream, allergy medications, their own food, their own headphones, mouth guard, flip flops, eye mask, their own novels and mmagazines.
Well all you can see are their eyes as usual.and they usually always order vegetarian or lamb!
They always travel in groups.they are never less than 4, and for what they feel the need to continually speak their language every second.they always have all these gadgets going on.
These are the ones who bought all the duty free before boarding.buy so much you wonder if they even travelled with something from home.
Honestly these ones look like they are still yet to accept that this is not their home.
Always walking up and down the aisle. Standing right at the beginning of the aisle usually beside the restroom.....literally doing nothing...like nothing!
Annoying annoying! !
These ones do everything different from the rest. Especially with meals.they probably already pre ordered their meals online with the airline.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
LETTER FROM MAIN CHICK TO SIDE CHICK!
1.this is the most important of them all.the main chick gets everything first, which therefore means valentines day for you is February 15th.! The only thing you keep is your birthday .
2.Dont think you are entitled to the D, if you call his at midnight and no answer, face it honey.Dont keep on disturbing.
3.You dont get to have intimate presents, or presents that say a million words like a rose bouquet at work or silver bracelet under your pillow,the most intimate you get is he takes you for shopping, you pick your stuff yourself no input from him or well he gives you the cash..go get your shit yourself!
4.honey no pictures! No! No! ... no matter the mood there will never be a picture.well sometimes he may take the picture but its not for real, he deletes it after you leave .
5.if you accidentally receive a loving, heartwarming text message from him, its not for real ..we might be fighting and he's looking for someone to talk to.
6.Dont worry he's never gonna follow you to your personal events like your parents wedding anniversary, your sister's baby shower..name it!
7.Get your mind prepared for impromptu cancelation of plans you both make,am always gonna come first.
8.last and most importantly. ..no matter how much he hooks up with you and have a good time..he will never marry you.!
Best regards!
Main chick!
Monday, March 3, 2014
TYPES OF PEOPLE ON BBM
A.K.A the touch not my anointed .these people sticking with God all through ,keeping it real, keeping it one hundred. Monday to Sunday they in the zone.
2.The 'religious updater wanna-be but-cant-keep-up'
unlike the religious updaters these ones are not keeping it one hundred at all.
3.the ghost
this one never updates,change display or even chat. You even have to send a broadcast to see if they will receive it just to check if they are still alive.
4.the inspiring quoter
these people are always inspired, Monday to Sunday, night and day, broken plate, torn shorts, lost phone=their inspiration. Always updating inspiring quotes. They inspire themselves so much they depress you.
5.the inspiring quoter wanna-be but-cant-keep-up
they are like the inspiring quotes but big difference here is their quotes make no sense whatsoever neither do they connect, apply or inspire you. These are the people you want to slap.
6.the romantic
these are the ones who always use their partners as their display picture ,infact they never use their own pictures, you start to wonder if they are still the actual owners of the phone. If they are not using their partners they use pictures of sunsine,sunrise,sunflowers,white sanded beaches, rose petal paths, colorful food and ice-creams !!....
7.the sad one
this is the opposite of the romantic. These people are always sad, always heartbroken, always breaking up with their partners. Worse if they are girls. Always updating pictures of dark corners, crying characters, children on lonely road paths, tear drops, heart split in two and that type stuff.
8.the traveler
this are the people whose bbm locations change every week or even less.travel so much ...immigration be like 'sorry madam you've been here 62times already..'
9.the one who takes forever to reply
you send this person a message on Monday morning saying "hey is there still lecture today?" they reply you on Thursday evening saying "..yes.".........and by then its already too late. They must be slapped!
10.the one who replies too fast
these people must be freaking mind readers...they respond to your message while it still shows that you are typing it. they must also be slapped.
11.the x-rated R
this is that one person or more always watching X-rated videos and forgets to turn of the setting where what you are listening to is made public.
12.the ones with more than one girlfriend
How to know them? update pictures of different girls without writing anything specific. Or even if they have to write something it will be on special occasions like their birthdays and end up using general words of affection like..."happy birthday dearie or sweets or babe or luv.." the real words are edited so as not to give it the real meaning it should have. When their actual girlfriends try to put up a quarrel they be like "but baby I said luv not love" or "baby I said Hun not honey"!
WEIRDNESS UN-CUT!.....must read
Wait ..! I didnt say sag but why the heck are your pants on your ribs..oh wait your lungs.why?!!!
Chicks who got their bra strap so high its starting to look like a necklace.from behind you can see the bra literally above what ever top they wearing.i mean I know you are seriously trying to push your boobs up and all that good stuff but why do have your boobs on your shoulders!
Its not a bad thing to be plus size though.shout out to all them big people.but some people so fat, still keep on eating, all their conversations about food..ever had a conversation with a fat person? Ya'll shouldn't be on a diet because thats still too much food, you should be vomiting. Well, you can still have breakfast too but only your plate should be empty at the beginning and full in the end. (Reverse-meal).live in a areas at the center of the earth, , because if you live at the edge it might tilt. (Good thing the earth is round!)
5 REASONS TO DATE A FAT GIRL
2.She will, fight your battles,don't worry about anyone owing you or doing you harm. Because she gonna put that dude under her arm-skin-fat. That nigga will not only choke, he can disappear. if the cops come to look for you don't worry just take a crow bar, raise that stomach fat and hide in between that shit it will cover you like a blanket.
3.skinny girls are too demanding ..they be like take me to your parents, when are we going to get married, lets get engaged, get me the Gucci purse,zannoti shoes and all that type stuff.....but fat chicks.? you aint got to worry about none of that, all you got to provide her with is food. Yes nigga that's all the engagement she wants.!
4.skinny girls want to go with you everywhere, you cant hang out with your boys to do stuff because all she want to do is dress up and go out with you, you need to lie and give excuses every time you don't want to take her out causing you to sin...but with them fat chicks you got to lie bro,you aint got to sin ..all you need to do tell her you going out with the boys, tell her where you kept the mc Donald's in the fridge and you can be on your way.
5.its is safe!!!!!..take your skinny girl out on a windy day you have to keep her chained to you because she might fly off ..take your fat girl out ..like French Montana 'you aint gotta worry bou none'. She aint flying no where. You can call her gravity because she'll keep you down and protect you from the wind.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
TYPES OF GIRLS IN A RELATIONSHIP
1.THE WIFE
this is the chick who isnt your wife yet but just your girlfriend or maybe even the side chick.. but chooses to still perform wifely duties like an idiot.. she wanna cook, clean, wash your sweaty undies (with her hands), wanna serve you breakfast in bed, wanna carry all the grocery bags after shopping,serves your friends the same way,..... b*tch please relax its not that serious.. looking for serious hard work? Volunteer for community service! !!!!!
2.THE 'REVERSE' WIFE
This is basically the opposite of the wife, she is never with you.infact you had your first date on skype!..she doesnt cook, clean..or any of that.she aint even there to listen to your worries.when you call her phone she so busy you gotta leave your worries on voice mail.
3.THE SEXY ONE
this damsel hot as hell..anytime you go out with her its like you're on a date with all the guys in the area.. cos everyone wants to get at her! You take her out another nigga pays for her food instead of you.
4.THE FAT ONE
This one so fat when she walks its like an eclipse of the sun..we cant see the light, we cant even see you..the boyfriend. When she walks with you its like she playing with a string puppet, when you go on a date you book for 3. Cos the waiter gotta replace one of them chairs with a bench so your girl can fit in, even the menu gotta be three cos she gonna order from 2, she eat so much..the bill so damn high..you gotta pay at the headquarters.
5.THE SKINNY ONE
You in the chinese restaurant tryna eat some good food with you damn chop sticks you look down and realize those damn chopsticks your girlfriend.she so skinny you and yo hommies can play basketball in the living room cos all that chick gotta do is stand and carry a basket ..she so skinny it looks like that chick disappearing..you tryna take a walk with her in the evening she looking shoe lace + weave ..and bro you gotta hold her tight cos of the wind.!
6.THE LITTLE SPENDER
this girl cheap as hell.she is $0.99 plus Tax! This is the one who does not spend a dime in the relationship ..you spent from the beginning till the send so much that it feels like she from foster care... so bad she doesnt even buy you gifts on any occasion.the most expensive thing she did was knit you a one inch dental floss for your birthday!..'saying baby its from my heart, my hardwork is in there..floss and think of me'
7. THE TWERKER
She wanna hit the club every five minutes, all day , all night , everyday.when you hit the club she starts dancing from the door, does the split from the entrance to the center stage, she dances so much,at the end of it you cant find her..she's lost in the crowd..and even when you do she aint wanna leave.
8.THE COOK
damn! She cook so good you wanna open a resturant for her but then you cant cos you're broke.and worse still she likes to cook, your first date was at home cos she cooked the damn food, when you go to the movies she gotta make them popcorns from home, when you get on a flight you search for her all through 7hours..look no further bro that chick in the back with the cabin crew cooking the damn food!
9.LONG JOHN SILVER
*Coughs*..this one wants to get it every night and day.she getting it so much you starting to wish you can get paid cos its feels like manual labour.
10.AFRICAN HUMMER
this one likes to sing as head off.. she walking , cooking, dressing up..whatever. .she singing....on your first date you guys didn't go nowhere she sang to you all night at home. She be like.'...hummba naway..zimba hamma..humma zinga...'
And you like 'babe wth is that'..she be like 'its kwazulu for I love you and always' .. but girl why you aint sing the damn song in English. !
11.THE SILENCER
this one just doesnt say sh*t! When Micheal jackson sang the song 'speechless' he should have put her name on it. Take her out on a date you stare at the table and play with the spoons all night, at home the landlord tried to move someone else in cos he didnt know anyone was still there, she cant keep a conversation. .all she does is gesticulate.
12.THE REVERSE SILENCER
she is fun.you go out with her best day of your life.. she will talk you out..she is versatile. .will talk abou anything..sports, politics, food, travel.. when you hang out feels like you with your niggas!
13.THE ONE WHO TAKES FOREVER TO DRESS UP
this one takes a lot of times dressing up .. she starts to get ready on january 20th and by the time she's done its 4th of july.!
Sunday, February 2, 2014
TOP 6 LIES GUYS TELL !..
1. THE 'AM NEW TO THIS' LIE.
this is when you meet a really cute guy,go for a drink,you start to talk about yourselves and he hits you with the 'babe this is my first relationship'.! when actualy you're like number 76.!
2.THE 'I HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE' LIE.
this is the one he tells to get on your good side and get some romantic pity from you . you ask him 'so what happened to your previous one..' and he hits you with the '..well tis hard to say but I had to go cos she was cheating..' when actually he was the one hitting it with all the girls on the block.
3.THE 'I TOLD MY MOM BOU U' LIE.
tell you he told his mom bou u so you feel special,and you the idiot believes and start to feel lik the wifey and start to perform wifely duties.3years into the relationship still aint seen the mom and BAM!! he dumps you.
4.THE 'AM JUST SHY' LIE
this is when he tells you he's not a public person,he don't wanna go out with you,and even when you go out he acts like he doesn't know you,never uses your pictures together, hardly takes pictures with you,talks formerly when you out but when you home alonr together he's ready to hit it 24/7. look this nigga don't want u,if he ain proud of u let him hit the door.get wise and turn up.!
5.THE 'BABE I THINK WE NEED A BREAK'
this is when he tells you you both need a little break out of the blues,he sarts to create drama,starts to look for faults and reasons to make the relationship look like its not working,starts to become edgy making it look like you both are not getting along.well honey give him that break,inshort let him take a year,the universe,the world.but girl be gone.! he don't wantchu!
6.THE 'I STILL WANT US BACK'
this is when he the ex,just came into town,nothing much to do,tryna look for someone to while away time with but not just anyone, someone whose familiar...YOU! he calls you and starts to play the 'I still love you,i think theres still something to hold onto..lets talk bou this' ......uhmm nigga NO!